From the CNN News Desk

VAMPIRE SIEGE AT RIO MUERTO BANNED IN TRANSYLVANIA!

The Transylvania Ministry of Information issued a statement announcing the banning of a novel entitled “Vampire Siege at Rio Muerto” published in the United States of America by Flying W Press. The ministry Sized Coverreported that the book was deemed by Transylvania Dept. of Cultural Affairs as a vicious attack on vampires around the world.

“This book should never have been allowed to be published, let alone sold,” Cultural Minister, Vlad Vladyvostok said. “The novel depicts vampires in the most disparaging manner and depicts wholesale slaughter of dozens of those of the vampiric persuasion.”

The Cultural Affairs Dept. announced it has collected hundreds of copies of the book from farmhouses, attics, and outhouses all throughout the Transylvanian countryside. The book is reportely being read in secret by the oppressed human population of that country.

“We will not stop until every copy of the pernicious book has been destroyed,” Vladyvostok said.

Author John M. Whalen told CNN, “They can complain all they want, and they can issue all the bans they want, but they can’t stop the truth from being told. I stand by my book 100 percent.”

Further bulletins as warranted.

Order your copy while you still can from Amazon.com. 

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