Dear Nabisco, (you stupid motherf—ers.

This is to inform you that I am done buying Chips Ahoy Chocolate Chip Cookies. I’ve enjoyed them for years, but I hate the new packaging. Whose idea was it to do away with the old bag with the twist tops and go to this new lift and tear package that is absolutely impossible to seal shut once it has been opened. The cookies go stale in a matter of days once the package is opened. The sticky stuff on the left flap doesn’t work. The package is always slightly open no matter what you do.

Sure I can put them in a cookie jar, but that’s not the point. You shouldn’t sell cookies in packages that won’t keep the damn cookies fresh. So, nuts to you, jerk off Nabisco. I’m done with you. Living in today’s world, with rampant terrorism, mounting national debt, and lousy TV shows is hard enough. Why you gotta make it harder? Huh? Why?

A Dissatisfied Customer.